#healingchildhoodtrauma
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Exposing secrets can tear families apart. But hear me out, it can also bring them closer together. I’ve lost a lot of family members – pretty much all of them aside from my sister and mother. It’s been a long and lonely and painful road but there are so many upsides. It’s freed me up…
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Brene Brown has gone into great lengths about the gift that vulnerability is. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” In the life of a trauma survivor of deep childhood wounds, I pause at the notion that this is good for me. It’s like ripping off my…
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As a child, the first thing we learn when coming through childhood tragedies is to remain quiet. Don’t tell is the very first rule we are given. The problem is we did see, we did hear and we still didn’t tell. If we are ever going to change our pasts, we have to break the…
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There is a saying that “Jesus was born to die.” If Jesus was born to die, I was birthed to suffer. I don’t recall a day in my childhood that didn’t have suffering in it. Maybe I had moments where I enjoyed something – an ice cream, a bike ride, but there was always embedded…
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When we learn to articiulate what our abuse took from us, we can grieve appropriately and begin to heal. If we sit in a muck of undiscovery, never articulating what we feel, we stay stuck, unhealed and a stranger to ourselves. Why discuss it? If you were a child when these sexual crimes happened to…
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I can have anger and not hate. I can love and not forgive. I can forgive and leave. The older I get the more I realize that life is about balance. Coming thru such severe childhood trauma I often get stuck in an off-balance kind of place — everything is good or everything is bad.…
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Doubting memory is a sad tale that brings victims of crimes under scrutiny. Oh, how I remember the sounds that plagued our streets. Children laughing and the happy sounds of the ice cream man — the man who peddled so much joy. I had to find him. I heard the sound coming down our lane,…
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Questioning memory is a sad tale that brings victims of crimes under scrutiny. Oh, how I remember the sounds that plagued our streets. Children laughing and the happy sounds of the ice cream man — the man who peddled so much joy. I had to find him. I heard the sound coming down our lane,…
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Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end it…
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Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves . . . Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a young poet As a very small child, my body and…