shame
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The devil rarely tempts you with anything that looks like evil. That would make it too easy. He comes offering what seems manageable. Reasonable. A small permission you can live with. I know this because I took those permissions. My fall didn’t begin with addiction or self-harm. It began with the quiet decision to override…
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Defined as: noun verb Victims of incest or childhood sexual crimes live under the scrutiny of shame. The question is: Where was this first imposed on the child? When you are two or three years old, how can you consciously do wrong? Isn’t the truth that we are taught wrong? What four year old walked…
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It’s 2025 and I am exceedingly happy at the prospect of this coming year. That hasn’t always been my expectation, but rather, it’s been one of quiet dread and subtle disappointment over what pain may meet me in the new year. Not so this year! I am filled with anticipation of what will be. God…
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It begins in the quiet spaces, in the dim corners where light refuses to reach. Childhood, that supposed garden of innocence, turns into a graveyard of half-buried memories, dark like the roots of some ancient tree. Trauma enters like a thief in the night, steals the breath from your throat, binds your wrists in silence, and…
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As a noun worth means the value equivalent to that of someone or something under consideration. Oh, that’s interesting. Under whose consideration might be the right question we should be asking ourselves. If under my own consideration, I consider myself quite worthy. Under another’s consideration, if I give them that right, they may consider me…
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Entry from my journal dated May 24, 2006: The day is undetermined. The future echoes the same. Where will I be in 15years. Answers undetermined. Mine not yet to know.Will I prevail in a lawsuit against Cathy? Or silently do I subside into the side shadows. Unknown. I wrote those words 16 years, 9 months,…
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Fear with a capital “F” stays with survivors of incest. It was a gift given to us at breakfast, served with soup at lunch, and gluttonously given at the dinner table. Fear had to be consumed by us for these households to operate smoothly. We probably don’t believe that we operate from a fear perspective.…
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God didn’t do it. Stop blaming him. You need him. Instead, blame the person who hurt you.
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Defined as: noun verb Victims of incest or childhood sexual crimes live under the scrutiny of shame. The question is: Where was this first imposed on the child? When you are two or three years old, how can you consciously do wrong? Isn’t the truth that we are taught wrong? What four year old walked…
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When insatiable pain enters my soul, I’m perplexed with indecision. I can run away from it or I can try to devour it and end it’s sting. If I don’t outrun it, then it finds me. If I try to look at it, it overtakes me. These feel like two really bad choices. I hate…