survivor
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Childhood trauma can lead to an adulthood spent in survival mode, afraid to plant roots, to plan for your future, to trust, to let joy in. Many of us have been trained into negative speculation (negatively guessing what other people think, or what the future holds) because of our upbringing and our trauma. I used…
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I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constant…
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No deposit was ever made in me as a child from my parents that would have led me to believe in trust. That’s a great big inadequacy in a human being. Another broken spot. Another spec folks find in me and place additional blame and just another place to find no meaning. As I sat…
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Abuse, for each one of us, is a burden to carry. The acts perpetrated against us carry a sentence that equates, ultimately, to rejection. My parents continually dismissed me. Their refusal to see me, offer any comfort or love that I needed as a child, left a blueprint that I followed. That path led me…
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I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive another…
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I was 22 when my memories started to emerge. I had a one-year-old beautiful little girl and had already been married for four years. I sat down one day at the kitchen table when my daughter was taking a nap, picked up a pen and just started to write. “How my soul must have ached…
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Should we call pedophiles survivors? We could. More child molesters go free than those who’re convicted. Most outlive any answerability to their crimes, lies and destruction. Seldom are they held accountable for any of their actions. But, that isn’t surviving. They live their lives in full masquerade. A true survivor learns to tell their story.…
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Several of the women recalled lying awake, motionless, waiting for the inevitable – a brother or father coming in to molest them. The Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk, Chapter 2, Trauma Before Dawn These were my nights. Many of them. And, I survived. How I survived is the thing to be questioned. As…