A scar is a reminder of past pain that is no longer active, while a sore is a current, ongoing source of discomfort. Scars are about something that happened to you, and you recognize that the pain is in the past. Sores, on the other hand, are active wounds that continue to hurt. Thinking of life events as scars or sores can help distinguish between what needs our attention and what is a memory to move past.
The idea I’ve learned from reading about childhood trauma is to let sores from childhood (or later) become scars. Let them develop a tough, thick skin around them. Remind yourself that the wounding you suffered is over and done with and that you are now healed from it.
See the scar, not the wound beneath it.
When you feel wounded now, look at what’s going on objectively, as if it’s the first time it’s happening and decide how to react. If you’re hurting in the present, you need an appropriate response for now, not one that’s based on another time and place.
B 🤍
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