mental health
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I have endured too much abuse at the hands of others because of my dissociative behaviors. Let me explain. “Dissociation means simultaneously knowing and not knowing.” Body keeps the score, VAN der kolk, m.d., page 121 You read that right. “When you don’t feel real nothing matters, which makes it impossible to protect yourself from…
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Oh, my love, I know. The world is a dark theater, and the players lie so beautifully, so effortlessly, that you begin to wonder if truth is just a ghost story we tell to comfort ourselves. The cynics whisper in your ear like tired prophets, saying: Nothing changes. The liars win. The strong devour the…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: What would life feel like uninhibited by pain? Brigadoon is a place that is idyllic, unaffected by time, or remote from reality. My Brigadoon is living a life hidden with God. I am tucked away in his kingdom – forever safe. I am not remote from reality but…
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Holidays can be deeply challenging for those of us who carry the scars of childhood trauma. The world seems filled with images of joyful families, while our memories may be of pain, neglect, or brokenness. For many, the idea of tradition feels like a painful reminder of what was missing. But the beauty of the…
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Loneliness after abuse is a room without doors, a silence that hums beneath your skin. You might think you deserve it, that love is something you were built to repel. But I promise, loneliness isn’t a verdict. Start small. Sit with it. Don’t flinch from its sharpness— let it pass through you. It hurts, but…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: Do you fear being alone? Abusive relationships in our childhood teach us that we have no personal space, no time to be alone that isn’t overseen by the abuser, and nothing that would make us believe we were an individual. Individual means single or separate.…
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Introspection — what better way to start a week. Question: Do you easily call out the deception in your abuser(s) or do you deny what you see? One of the easiest ways to stay outside of healing and freedom is to deny what you see. As children, if you came through childhood sexual crimes, you…
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Parenting after surviving childhood abuse feels like steering a ship through a storm without a compass. You become both the protector and the frightened child, caught in the echoes of your past while trying to build a future for someone else. There’s no map for this kind of journey, no help from extended family to…
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Oh, I’ve done so many things wrong I can hardly decide which one to talk about. In anger, I fought for my own way. I drank too much. I slept with men I didn’t even know. I harbored the desire for power and money. Secretly, I wanted revenge. My desire was not to live wrong,…
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There’s a peculiar ache that comes with childhood betrayal, like a splinter in the soul that never makes its way out. It lodges itself in the tender places, the marrow of your memory, and there it festers quietly, whispering cruel reminders: “How could they? How could the hands that were supposed to cradle you, turn…