We answer anonymous messages received at BitsnB1218@gmail.com and through comments we receive.

On a global level, the World Health Organization (2022) estimates that around 1 billion children are affected by sexual violence each year. The real number of victims is staggering and we are here to support you!

Here is an anonymous post that came in on Reddit:

the web

To try to keep it brief:

It starts with my mother, from what I remember. She and her stepsister had a sexual relationship for years of her childhood.

My mother divorces my father and gains custody of my sister and I when I’m 5 years old and my sister is a baby. for around 5 years, she lays me down on her bed and forces me to watch pornographic material and movies, and gives me detailed descriptions of her sex life, both in the past and the present (this is how I knew of her relationship with her stepsister). She makes odd comments about my sister having a “crush” on me when we all lay in bed together.

My mother gives up primary custody of my sister and I 5 years later; I walk in on the conversation. My father remarries, and the first thing my mother asks for is pictures of my step-siblings, followed by encouragement for me to “go for” my oldest step-sister.

My younger sister comes out to me as trans, which I dutifully keep a secret from our family, supporting him by purchasing binders in secret and men’s deodorant and shampoo and conditioner – the works.

Months pass. It’s either late June or early July of 2025, and my younger brother now, asks me if he can tell me something. I say yes, despite the inexplicable but overwhelming urge to say no and walk away. What follows is a 2 or 3 hour long conversation, which I have almost entirely blacked out, where he confesses to having violent and explicit rape fantasies, the targets of which are everyone from friends, our step family, and even our own mother and father. He tells me that the entire reason he both wants to be trans and hasn’t acted these out is because he doesn’t have the anatomy to do these acts the way he fantasizes about. He tells me I am the only person he doesn’t think about it with. He begs me not to look at him differently. He begs me not to tell anyone.

I try to tell my father the next day, but my throat closes up. I have never felt what I felt in that moment. I open my mouth to try to tell my father what happened the night before, and instead of sound, a strange choking sensation followed by a hard swallow, like swallowing and entire boiled egg yolk dry, is what comes out. I am physically incapable of producing the words to express this. So I tell him, instead, that my younger sister is watching violent porn on her computer, which was also true, in the hopes that he would go through it, find something, and take away his devices and put him in therapy.

Days pass. Weeks pass. I refuse to be at my house during any hours where I could possibly run into my brother. I am out of the house from 5 am – 12 am every night, and if I’m not, then I am in my room ALL DAY, refusing to give any sign of life from eating and drinking to even using the restroom.

It is during these weeks that the floodgates open, and I remember things I had repressed:

In 2020 my youngest step-sister and brother had “sleepovers” where they “did things they knew were wrong”. I know this because they came to me about it, asking me to stay in the room with them because they wanted to stop whatever it was they were doing, but knew they wouldn’t unless they were forced to. Apparently whatever they were doing with each other was something they weren’t willing to do in front of another person. I still don’t know what went on – I just did as they asked and didn’t say anything.

My brother wrote violent rape fantasy stories as well, with “original characters”. The main character being abused in these stories, he described to be like me, but as a boy – “physically though, not personality… well, personality too, I guess. Like you, as a boy? Like you, basically”.

I ran away in October. My parents didn’t notice for 2 weeks, due to me not doing my weekly chore for the 2 weeks I was gone. I came back October 17th, and finally was able to force the words out of my mouth to describe everything to my father, through so many tears.

My father does not know where I’m staying, but we have limited contact. I found out around January of this year that nothing has been done about my brother. I have sent a mass groupchat to everyone in the family in that vicinity – still nothing. I enlisted into the air force, and I ship out at the end of this month.

Should I keep my father in my life, or should I just cut it all off? I already have no contact with my mother – since 7th grade. Writing it all out, it sounds obvious, but there’s something that makes me hesitant that I’m unable to define or understand. Help.

Dear _a_hundred_crowns:

First, I am proud of you. You have been alone a very long time.

I hesitate and ponder this very complicated family structure. It seems there may be missing parts to this your story.

I would remind you that you are only responsible for you #UCU. While I love the protection you show to your sibling, this is not your place. First you must protect yourself. When a plane is crashing you always put your oxygen on first. And, my sweet love, you need some pure oxygen.

I would encourage you to find YOUR story. Not your mom’s story. Not your sister’s story or your dad’s story. Begin to journal about yourself.

What happened to YOU through all of these adventures around you?

How were YOU feeling?

What goals did YOU make?

What did YOU survive?

With your dad, you may want to ask yourself a few questions:

Does your father take responsibility for his failures?

Does he acknowledge the seriousness of what happened and is happening?

Can you trust your dad with difficult truths? 

I am glad you are out to safety. Stay that way – SAFE.

It’s so sad because YOU are a young person in the middle of this story. You have spent years being exposed to sexual content by your mom and sister. You’ve spent years protecting your sibling, years carrying secrets, years trying to get adults to act and yet YOU barely appear in the story… 💔

Learning to see ourselves through these kinds of tragedies is always the best place to start. Take your eyes OFF of everyone else.

All love,

Bits n’ B

And a reply was posted:

This might sound so silly but I honestly haven’t thought to consider myself once in all this. Realizing this, I almost feel guilty for neglecting myself in everything. Thank you