Merriam-Webster defines innocence as: freedom from legal guilt of a particular crime or offense; freedom from guilt or sin through being unacquainted with evil : blamelessness; lack of knowledge; freedom from guile or cunning : simplicity; and lack of worldly experience or sophistication.
When I look at those definitions as given the very acts of childhood sexual abuse creates chaos for the child. The child is blameless but now acquainted with evil. The child is simple but now has knowledge. The child has no worldly experience but has now watched the craft of a cunning deceiver.
How then does a child go on?
It’s difficult.
You know things but you really know nothing. The pedophile relies on this. Instinct tells the abuser they have many years to mess with a child’s mind before that child can even reason that what is happening is wrong.
I’ve heard a woman whose father raped her from early childhood to her teen years say this of her family, “We were conservative.” You know what’s odd, I thought my family was conservative, too. That’s what they showed the outside world and that’s what they spoke.
If we look at the definition of conversative it is “averse to change or innovation and holding traditional value.” They only way a family of incest can be conservative is to bring with them the values of the past and hold to that tradition of — well, incest.
I may offer that if you come from a family line of incest you become progressive and change the traditions. Words matter.
As far as innocence goes, the child unfortunately remains with their innocence until their own experiences and freedom from their abuser teaches them a separate tune.
As the holiday season approaches us, remember that traditions from a dark family need to be changed. You can be alone without them. You’ll make it.
Father, today I bring before you the innocent-hearted person who carries with them the guilt of childhoodcrimes that does not belong to them. They did not do these crimes, the pedophile did. Release them from the burden to make it right and walk them into abundant healing. In your name, Amen.
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