A song made popular by Madonna:
“Something in the way you love me won’t let me be
I don’t want to be your prisoner
So baby, won’t you set me free?
Stop playing with my heart
. . .
Just try to understand
I’ve given all I can
‘Cause you got the best of me
Borderline
Feels like I’m going to lose my mind
You just keep on pushin’ my love
Over the borderline”
Those words remind me so much of a love within an incestuous or dsyfunctional family. Something in the way you love me won’t let me be. Isn’t that just so true.
We try to change the story. We try to bring or create love where love does not exist. We block our memories. We change our minds about what the past looked like. We deny the feelings of our hearts.
Most of the time we do this because we fear the truth. The stories that hide in the closet are terrifying so we don’t go there. We believe we can out run them — make them disappear through our denial.
It doesn’t work. I tried. I wanted love in my past. I wanted brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles — grandparents for my children.
But if I brought them with me the disease of incest would continue. I knew that. And as soon as I chose to break the silence, to dedicate my life to the things of God, everything began to change.
Things got better. My heart received the message it needed, “there is no love in your past only fear.” The words of truth were beginning to set me free.
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