Reflection — what better way to start a week.
Food, booze, pills, gambling, shopping — you name it. It’s how we get through. If there were someone that said they have no coping mechanisms, would you believe them?
I wish I had none. I wish my past was easy. I wish my children hadn’t endured pain and suffering under my watch. I wish a lot of things.
The condition of humanity is just so broken. God redeems us – He does. And, I’m still broken. I wish I weren’t broken. I wish I could handle all of the things that hurt my soul. I wish I knew God in a bigger way. I wish I knew his ways much deeper.
I’m trying. I’m trying and sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I don’t fail and that feels good. Today I’m struggling to overcome the soul collapse I had yesterday. I always think I won’t have another one and then something hits me, triggers me, and I start walking with a limp. Oh, I try to just sweep it under the rug but the problem is my soul goes under that rug, too.
If only I could be perfect. I will settle for God’s banner over me and his banner over me is LOVE.
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